Get Your Friends on Your Calendar

Motherhood is a form of selflessness. Gone are the days where we had time to lay in the tanning beds and pick out a new outfit for every outing. According to my husband, he has seen me rotate the same seven sweaters since he married me.


As we have a family depending on us for their needs, it is easy for us to put our personal needs last on the list. What happened to your favorite hobby? Have you scheduled your yearly checkup or dentist appointment? When was the last time you had dinner with your friends?


Proof that motherly nature puts our needs last is when we try to schedule time with friends. Oftentimes, you plan weeks in advance and still someone cancels. Why? Because time with friends seems to be the easiest thing to let go of.

A commonly used phrase to describe a “great” friend is that you don’t ever have to see them, yet your friendship remains unchanged. While, yes, steadfast friends are great to have, maybe we should prioritize seeing them, although we don’t have to.


At times, taking friend time away from husband, baby, kids, dogs, etc. feels selfish. Especially when you may have been super busy with work and haven’t gotten to see them as much. However, what may feel selfish actually benefits them just as much as it does you.


For one, when we have time away from friends, we often rid ourselves of the relatability friendship gives. We end up bottling emotions inside that come out in forms of stress. No matter how much we vent to our families, there is no replaceability for the counsel of friendship.


Because they just get it! They, too, haven’t slept in days due to a restless baby and a husband who sleeps like a rock. They, too, are tired of cooking dinner every night. They, too, haven’t had time to make it to the gym.


It is in the support of friends that we don’t feel alone in our struggles and, then, are more confident in ourselves as mothers.

Secondly, time with friends actually makes you a better mother and wife. Friends hold you accountable!


There is nothing worse than having a goal in mind for yourself (say, walking a mile a day, for example) and then being unable to complete it. Even worse, however, is your husband reminding you that you didn’t complete it… and then resenting him.


Here is where you need your friend to hold you accountable. A nudge from a friend goes a long way, especially when they are in the same situation. Challenge each other to take a little time out of the day for yourself, and then check in to make sure they did it. Friends who are close enough to share your struggles can celebrate your victories and losses together.

Lastly, time with friends is a form of filling your own cup. While your friends provide counsel, relatability, accountability, confidence, encouragement and – best of all – a good laugh, your storage of emotional energy is replenished. When your cup is full, you naturally spill over into other’s, benefiting those around you.


Get your friends on your calendar! I promise, you need it and so does she.